Beyond Hard Knocks: A Running Diary of My Day at Jets’ Training Camp

The television program “Hard Knocks” is good, but only provides the viewer with a glimpse of what really happens at training camp. I spent the entire day at the Jets’ training camp and documented everything I saw. Here’s what really happens at training camp.

Below is a running diary of the events that transpired on Wednesday August 16, 2023 at the New York Jets training camp:

5:30 a.m. - I arrive at the Jets’ facility. I am told to come back at 10:15 a.m. when it opens to the public.

5:55 a.m. - I arrive at a nearby Denny’s and immediately use the bathroom.

7:25 a.m. - I am asked to leave Denny’s for reasons that are unclear to me.

8:15 a.m. - I leave Denny’s by my own accord and vow to never step foot inside a Denny’s ever again (this was a lie).

8:27 a.m. - I arrive at the Jets’ facility.

8:29 a.m. - I am told again to come back at 10:15 a.m. (I forgot what time they originally told me and thought they told me 8:45 a.m.).

9:04 a.m. - I arrive at a nearby Panera Bread and am told I have to order something before using the bathroom. I strongly protest and cite to various constitutional provisions of the U.S. Constitution such as freedom of speech and illegal search and seizure (I don’t know why).

9:07 a.m. - I come up with a plan to just order the cheapest thing on the menu, then use the bathroom, then return the item that I ordered.

9:09 a.m. - I order one small container of the Reduced Fat Honey Walnut Cream Cheese and head straight to the bathroom.

10:02 a.m. - I exit the bathroom and tell the cashier that I want to return the Reduced Fat Honey Walnut Cream Cheese that I purchased about an hour ago. She refuses to give me a refund and I begin to yell.

10:09 a.m. - I am asked to leave Panera Bread.

10:12 a.m. - While screaming obscenities at the manager, I spot a guy wearing a Jets jersey and ask him if he knows what time training camp opens to the public. He tells me 10:15 and I start to yell at him, but then I realize I think he’s right and I am going to be late. I offer him the Reduced Fat Honey Walnut Cream Cheese as a sign of peace, but he declines.

10:38 a.m. - I arrive at the Jets’ facility and immediately use the bathroom.

11:45 a.m. - I take my seat in the practice viewing area. I can’t really see anything, so I walk down to the field.

11:47 a.m. - I begin yelling for Aaron Rodgers to come over to me so I can interview him. He doesn’t answer. I start to yell much louder.

11:56 a.m. - I am ushered back to my seat.

12:04 p.m. - I start drinking in the parking lot with some guys I just met.

2:25 p.m. - The guys and I are asked to leave the premises for reasons that are unclear to me.

2:40 p.m. - We arrive at a nearby bar and all of us go straight to the bathroom.

3:50 p.m. - I spot my ex-fiance’s cousin at the bar who tells me that my ex-fiance has gone on a few Bumble dates recently and I lose my shit.

???

10:45ish p.m. - I come to at Denny’s. I am eating a pancake slathered in Reduced Fat Honey Walnut Cream Cheese, and it’s everything.