Is Victor Wembanyama Too Tall to Be Gud in the NBA, and, More Importantly, is He Too Tall to Live a Long, Happy, and Healthy Life?
Victor Wembanyama is very tall, and it’s possible that he might be too tall to be gud in the NBA. But. More importantly: is he too tall to live a long, happy, and healthy life? Probably.
Thomas S, CC BY-SA 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons/Sports Gutter Studios
Everyone is just assuming that Victor Wembanyama is going to be great without really stopping to think to ask the real question here: Is Victor Wembanyama too tall to be gud in the NBA? More importantly, is he too tall to live a long, happy, and healthy life?
To be gud in the NBA, sometimes it helps to be tall. For example, Patrick Ewing was tall and he was gud. Theo Ratliff was tall, and he was pretty gud. There are probably lots of other examples too. But. Then again, there are also examples of guys who were not tall and were still gud at basketball. I’m talking about guys like Travis Best. And there are probably others I have left out.
Now let’s look at the modern NBA. It is clearly a guard-driven league. You got guys like Steph Curry, Dame Lillard, Jordan Clarkson, and there are other gud guards out there too. Sure, there are also some gud tall guys like Karl Towns, Jokic, Anthony Davis, Giannis, Durant, Harrison Barnes, Embiid, Obi Toppin, etc. But really, it is a guard’s league and to be a guard you really need to be pretty short.
So, the answer to the first question (is Victor Wembanyama too tall to be gud in the NBA?) is probably: maybe.
As to the second question, let’s look at that more closely. Statistically speaking, a long life nowadays is about 80 years or so (because of fetanyl overdoses and things like that, the average lifespan has dropped significantly, so everyone please be careful out there with drugs). But. The average lifespan for someone who is over 7 feet tall is probably around 65-70. And for someone who is over 7’3, the average lifespan is probably even shorter. Just look at Yao Ming.
So, the answer to the first part of the second question (is Wembanyama too tall to live a long life?) is: yes. Victor’s time on this earth is likely limited, and he may die relatively soon because of his height.
With that being said, the real question is: is he too tall to live a happy and healthy life? The answer, unfortunately, is yes, probably. Consider how difficult it must be to find a lover when you are that tall. Most women are about 5 feet tall or so. Imagine how tough it would be to stand-up sixty-nine someone who was two and a half feet shorter than you. I don’t think it’s even possible because, for a stand-up sixty-nine to work properly, her mouth has to be able to reach down to your shaft–while at the same time–her puss needs to be buried in your face.
“Imagine how tough it would be to stand-up sixty-nine someone who was two and a half feet shorter than you.”
If Victor tries to stand-up sixty-nine a girl who is 5 feet tall, her mouth will only be able to reach down to maybe his stomach while he is munching her box. So, he will only be able to properly stand-up sixty-nine with someone who is at least 6 feet tall, and that is very rare. Only about 1% of the world’s women are over 6 feet tall, and most of them are weird looking. This makes it almost impossible for someone as tall as Victor to find happiness in life.
As for his long-term health, well, sadly, that doesn’t look great either. Someone with long bones like Victor has will be more prone to problems with their bones like bone cancer and bone disease. With those really long bones, it is easier for the cancer and other diseases to make its way into them, therefore increasing his chances of getting bone cancer or bone disease, and then dying of bone cancer or bone disease.
So, while I think Victor Wembanyama is an exciting prospect, it is not a given that he will be great in the NBA. And given the problems he will most likely face due to his height (shorter life span, not being able to find a partner to stand-up sixty-nine properly, and bone cancer/disease), Victor may end up being a tragic, and lonely figure. Just look at Yao Ming.