Fuck Pickleball
The rise of pickleball in the U.S. is just one of the many reasons why this country is going down the shitter.
Like a relentless mosquito on a hot summer day, pickleball just won’t go away. It’s everywhere nowadays, and I’m goddamn sick of it. Now, I understand that change is inevitable, but I just can't help but express my frustration at how this game has managed to overshadow the grand tradition of tennis that I hold so dearly.
In my eight decades of life, I've seen the world change in more ways than I care to remember. But through it all, there was one constant: the elegance and finesse of tennis. The thwack of a well-struck forehand, the graceful glide across the court, the strategic thinking that went into each shot—these were the elements that made tennis a true sport of gentlemen and ladies.
And then came pickleball.
A game that seems to be a bizarre hybrid of tennis and ping-pong, played on a much smaller court with oversized paddles and a plastic ball. The court, a shrunken patch of real estate, seems to mock the sprawling canvas of a tennis court. It's like someone took the refined art of tennis and decided to dilute it with a pinch of randomness and a dash of chaos. Where is the finesse? Where is the strategic depth? All I see is a bunch of foo-foo boys batting a ball around with what looks like a glorified frying pan.
What irks me even more is how quickly pickleball has gained popularity. It's as if people have forgotten the hours of practice, the sweat and tears, that were invested into mastering the skills required for tennis. Tennis was a sport that demanded respect for tradition, dedication to improvement, and the ability to handle the pressure of a one-on-one showdown. Pickleball, on the other hand, appears to be more about casual fun and serving as another excuse to post yet another goddamn selfie photograph of yourself on Instagram.com.
“Pickleball, on the other hand, appears to be more about casual fun and serving as another excuse to post yet another goddamn selfie photograph of yourself on Instagram.com.”
And it’s not just the young who are playing pickleball. People my age are out there frolicking around and having the time of their goddamn lives. Just look at these assholes.
TheVillagesFL, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons
I can't help feeling that the rise of pickleball is indicative of a larger trend in society—the need for instant gratification and the unwillingness to invest time and effort in mastering a craft. Tennis was about honing your skills, learning the nuances of the game, and building character through the challenges it presented. Pickleball, to me, seems like a shortcut, a way to experience a taste of competition without truly embracing the spirit of the sport.
I find solace in the memories of watching legends like Rod Laver, Bjorn Borg, Pete Sampras, or even a black like Serena Williams, battle it out on the grass courts of Wimbledon. Their dedication to their craft, their unwavering commitment to the sport, and the sheer artistry of their play are etched in my mind forever. It's disheartening to see that the values they embodied are slowly being overshadowed by the allure of a game that lacks the same depth and history.
“I find solace in the memories of watching legends like Rod Laver, Bjorn Borg, Pete Sampras, or even a black like Serena Williams, battle it out on the grass courts of Wimbledon.”
I can't help but feel a pang of sadness at how pickleball has taken center stage. Let us not forget the tradition, the skill, and the true spirit of competition that tennis represents. While pickleball may be the flavor of the moment, let's not allow it to overshadow the grandeur of a sport that has stood the test of time—tennis, the true game of champions.
In conclusion, fuck pickleball.